Written by Anonymous
To “His Wife,”
There are a few things you should know, now that you are mending your marriage.
First off, I am not the home wrecking slut you imagine me to be. I have spoken to you numerous times, and have been almost 100% honest every time. I was not looking for a one night stand, or a lover to mend my broken heart. Fate is responsible for the crossing of all three of our paths. I come from a sheltered upbringing and would have never thought I would end up in this situation.
Your husband is a remarkable man, and I highlight the word man. He is the epitome of a gentleman, father and lover. Don’t forget to remind him daily of how amazing he is, even if you’ve said it a million times. I am sure you are very insecure with yourself at this time and wondering where you failed to keep him from wandering. It is very simple: companionship. Stalking my LinkedIn and Facebook profiles will not give you any answers into what it takes to win this man’s heart, mind, body and soul.
Your husband loves intellectual conversations where he learns new things. Engage him in current events topics, read books which give you different outlooks on life, and get to know what topics really hold his attention. Conversations kept about the bills, kids, and family life will not only bore him but steer him away from you. You don’t have to pretend to like football, I hate it but found common ground in current events, basketball, heritage, and religion.
Open communication is so important to your husband, he loves to talk.
This man is like most in that he loves to be satisfied physically. The only way to achieve sparks in the bedroom is to be 100% confident with yourself. Men know that the girls in porno’s and TV shows aren’t the real deal. He would have married a model if that was his thing. The best thing you can wear to bed is confidence in yourself and your body. You are a woman with curves, flaws and post birth characteristics – EMBRACE them, because he already has. Change things up and try new things. Exercising regularly will help build this confidence in your body and bring your energy levels to an all-time high. Just let yourself be the stress relief he needs from the real world and you will see it helps with your daily stress.
Your husband has feelings and emotions. Discuss yours openly and honestly no matter how taboo they might seem. Don’t ever judge him. Create a “safe zone” where he can discuss the same with you. A marriage is a relationship that is not built on love which fades, it is built on trust, openness and mutual respect. Respect this man’s emotions and feelings so he can reciprocate the same. Be an open book with no secrets, be his safe haven.
Open communication is so important to your husband, he loves to talk. Find time in your day to shoot the breeze and grow a friendship again. You will not agree on everything, but how you deal with those disagreements will make or break your companionship. Take time to think things thru before reacting irrationally and learn to let the small things go.
I commend you for being a strong woman and not leaving him after discovering our love affair. Your strength and courage to keep your family together has inspired me to rethink my future relationships. I am forever changed by this man and how he has taught me how a woman should be treated.
I hope you find peace in your marriage and are able to move on from this. I am sure you are surprised to read (if you do) this coming from me and wonder why I am giving you the keys back to this ride. As I said before, I am not the home wrecking slut you picture me to be. Sometimes I wish I could advise you on so many things over a cup of coffee from time to time. I sincerely love this man and want the very best for him. I may live the rest of my life knowing we won’t have our fairy tale ending together, but I want him to have a fairy tale life because he deserves it.
I am not mad or bitter that he led me on to believe I can be more than a mistress. I do not hate you for keeping him or pushing me out of your lives. I am jealous that you share the same roof and have children with him, but as a mother I think of your children before making any other irrational moves. I have grown to love them and hope for the best for them, too.
I just ask one thing of you, and that is to do your best in winning his companionship again. Take care of the man of our dreams and I truly mean it when I say I hope it works out for you. God bless.
The Other Woman.