Hard Truth Tuesday is where readers submit questions or seek advice from our MissMuslim relationship blogger – Faiza Rammuny. To submit your questions – email Faiza at firstname.lastname@example.org.
How are you? I just wanted to tell you that you are very real and inspiring. It’s crazy because you remind me so much of myself based on what you have been through. Right now I’m battling a heart break because I broke up with my fiancé. Everything reminds me of him and I’m still so hurt and I don’t know what to do sometimes. I cry so much. Till this day, I fell so deeply in love with him in such a short time, but he left me with nothing but pain. He ended it in such a cold way. I’m not happy with myself or my life. I’m always so depressed, sad, hurt, and angry. Do you have any advice for me on how I can overcome this?
Dear Broken Hearted,
Thank you kindly for your amazing words. YOU are the truly inspiring person here. It takes true courage to admit to this level of hurt.
I’m truly sorry for all of the pain you are feeling right now. Dealing with heartbreak SUCKS! It’s a long road that’s made harder by the memories that come back in flashes. I understand. Believe me when I say that!
Let me start with the comforting words that everything you’re feeling right now is completely normal! Adjusting to the absence of a person that was a large part of your life can take a great deal of time. So during this time, know that it’s okay to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. You have to go through the emotions to understand them fully. Note that I said go through and not stay in. Negative emotions are like small towns, you have to travel through them to get to where it is you’re actually going. Allow yourself the appropriate time to deal with this adjustment. Don’t feel that there’s a time limit on getting over this separation. Beating yourself up for feeling sad or bottling your emotions will only cause things to get worse. The good news is that it’s all temporary. I promise you.
Allow yourself the appropriate time to deal with this adjustment.
Here’s the hard truth, a point will come when you ask yourself, “What now?” Your ex has left you with all this pain and you’re not sure what to do with it. Well honey, you do with pain exactly what you do with your ex’s belongings: you get rid of it! While he may have left you with baggage, it doesn’t mean he robbed you of happiness. That emotion is still there and you will still feel it. Try your best to channel all the negative energy you’re feeling into something positive and productive, something that could be of help to other people. Working to bring happiness to others brings it back to you.
So make sure to take your time, heal yourself, and look out for a fellow human. It may take days, it make take months, hell it might even take years but if Stella can get her groove back and meet Taye Diggs then there’s hope for all of us.
Stay balanced, stay positive, stay FABULOUS!