Trauma irrevocably changes you. Whether it’s physical or emotional trauma, you are never the same once you’ve endured it. Traumatic experiences put your body in survival mode – since your body believes you are under threat to physical, emotional, and psychological harm. When faced with events like abuse, terrorism, war, natural disaster, or anything that is unnatural, our belief in humanity and, often, belief in God is questioned.
“It’s a belief in the Oneness of Absolute Truth and Unity.”
Everybody’s reaction to trauma is different. For some, reflex is during and immediately afterwards. But for many others, it can take months or even years to accept and process the event. As I detailed in my last Alchemy and Astrology article, I was triggered by my abuser 7 years after the incident, even though I have spent a significant amount of time and energy healing from the abuse. Not everyone has the same time frame nor ability to recover the same way.
Many of you have asked me, after reading my column Triggered, how can I remain spiritual when I endured sexual abuse, not once but twice? Simply put, I’m a spiritual woman. If it weren’t for the latest abuse, I wouldn’t have been pushed into developing my spirituality. Spirituality is my personal power to something sacred. It’s bigger than dogma. It’s a belief in the Oneness of Absolute Truth and Unity. I am not bound by religiosity interpreted by man. Being mystical gave me the freedom and space to heal.
In the moment of trauma, the victim is overwhelmed with helpless force. This moment is what propels us to reach for something greater. Whether we are directly affected by the trauma or witnessing a loved one go through it, we look for the Light in the dark. We seek transcendence to cope.
My biggest regret after my trauma was not being diligent in reporting him which resulted in my silence. I attempted to but was quickly dismissed by the authorities. I backed down out of shame. Thus, my silence quickly led to my eventual escape out of the state, all within two months. I didn’t turn to spirituality until almost a year later. It took me years to resolve the anger I held and cope with the crises.
How could God let this happen?
I used to ask myself this, daily, hoping the answer would miraculously appear to soothe my pain. Whereas most religious institutions shun you from having any negative feelings towards God, spirituality allows you to have an ongoing relationship with Him. Getting angry isn’t the problem. It’s when you disconnect from Source and remain at a low vibration that you are doing yourself a disservice. Have you ever been mad at a loved one? Of course, you have – you’re human. Your relationship to Him is like having an intimate relationship with a loved one. Relationships take work. It’s another wave of energy, it ebbs and flows. Attuning to His energy in the face of trauma allows you to feel His presence, which ultimately makes you realize that you are never truly alone.
How do you reconnect to Him after trauma?
Dialogue – also known as, prayer. Prayer acts as your narration to healing. You’re transforming your emotions into speech. You’re transmuting negativity into positivity. Prayer connects your compassion and love because you are tuning into His frequency. Mindfulness, meditation, and other ritualistic methods are considered prayer.
Post-traumatic growth is transformative and powerful. As I stated in my last column, you have the power to change your story. I wish I had the golden guide book on how to deal with trauma. I don’t. No one can tell you how to heal. Just like there is no road map out of hell, you just end up coming out on the other end. But you can find a practitioner or a community of compassionate souls who can hold space for you, to start. We heal by going through it. By feeling through it. By transforming the pain and learning from it. You will know when it’s time to get out of survival mode because that vibration will no longer serve you.
Trauma left me feeling estranged from my authentic self. Spirituality revived me.