The best way to test your compatibility with your significant other is to plan a day trip to the mountains; get into an accident, spend the night in a boring town, boil to death in the hottest hotel room ever (it melted my coconut oil) and then realize that you went way, way, way over your original $140 budget. But, in the, end it would be one great adventure.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and I like to think we are quite compatible. He makes me laugh, he is kind, he is attractive, and we share the same values. If I were to write up a checklist, he’s a 10 out of 10. However, last week really put into perspective how important compatibility is when it comes to having a fulfilling relationship. See – compatibility is not just about making sure you both like pizza and can agree on what TV show to watch in the evenings. It is a deeper connection that reflects the tenacity of your relationship. When the going gets tough, are you both going to call it quits or blame the other person for their (or your) shortcomings? Or, are you going to say “Hey this sucks a lot. But I am ready to tough this out, are you?”
I thought it would be a great idea to go to the mountains Thursday. I had the day off and I convinced my boyfriend to take the day off as well. Our plan was to leave early in the morning and be home in time for 7 pm, because at 23 I still have to deal with a curfew and God forbid I am on the highway past 7 pm.
Everything was smooth sailing. It was an hour trip to the hiking trail we wanted to check out. Well, it was supposed to be an hour trip but we missed the exit – twice. The first time was his fault… And OK the second time was mine (I admit it OK? See, I can take responsibility!). On our third try we realized the exit was actually closed off but that was fine since another trail was open so we decided to drive up there instead. In hindsight this could have been the gods speaking to us saying, “Turn back now before it was too late”. But obviously
he we did not listen and instead we saw another sign pointing us to the original hiking trail we wanted to take and decided, “Let’s follow it and see where it takes us! It will be an adventure.”
It was a beautiful drive with clear sunny skies but the road we were on was a bit slick with packed snow (nothing true Canadians couldn’t handle). Funny enough there were plenty of warning signs telling us controlled fires were in the area (in the middle of winter oddly enough) but nothing told us about this hiking trail – or road being closed.
When I think about the accident now it is pretty funny but in the moment it wasn’t. As we were driving down the road my boyfriend looked at me and asked, “How much longer do you want to keep driving?” I replied, “About 15 more minutes.” Although at this point we had been driving for an hour to find this trail. I should mention that the only reason I wanted to go was to take pretty photos of the waterfalls for Instagram (I am shallow I will admit this) and for a post I wanted to write here on MissMuslim (always a good reason there). Without complaint my boyfriend agreed. We continued to follow the road and focused on the fresh tire tracks ahead of us
Next thing you know a guardrail appeared in front of us preventing the car from continuing down the road. My boyfriend slammed on his breaks but we hit a patch of ice losing traction and slamming straight into the guardrail. His entire windshield was smashed and there was just a look of utter shock and defeat on my boyfriend’s face. He was devastated. When I replay the incident in my head it seemed like everything happened slowly and I keep thinking of a million ways I could have prevented this entire thing from happening. But when I really think about it, I wouldn’t change a thing and here are my reasons why:
1. Getting into this accident reflected what kind of partner each one of us can be when things are really tough.
The reaction of my boyfriend was incredible. He had every right to scream and yell and shout but he did not. He could have blamed me for continuing to push to find this hiking trail but he did not. He could have gotten angry with me for making him take the day off to go the mountains when the roads still were not that great but he did not. He did not blame me for an accident that happened beyond either one of our control. I started crying because I thought he was mad at me and he just held me and told me I was being silly.
I realized that I needed to be his rock at this point and let him know everything was going to be OK. I unfastened my seat belt and turned to him holding his hand, “This is going to be OK. We are not hurt. I am going to be with you every step of the way and we will figure all of this out do not worry.” While in the back of my mind I was thinking, “Shit how am I going to tell my mom. She’s going to kill us!”
“Babe, your mom is going to hate me ,again.”
I wanted him to know, shit happens, and this was not the end of the world. Granted after the whole ordeal my boyfriend looked at me and said, “Babe, your mom is going to hate me ,again.” Not because we got into the accident. No. the reason she would hate my boyfriend is because we had to stay overnight and share a hotel room. And God forbid that happens. Which brings me to my next point…
2. Your first overnight trip isn’t as glamorous as it seems.
Although we wanted this to happen under different circumstances (i.e. marriage in the eyes of my mom), an overnight stay is not as romantic as it appears. Seriously… my mom was so opposed to me staying the night she was willing to make the hour and half trek up north on slick road conditions just so I did not have to the chance to haram it up with bae.
Let me just say (ahem, mom) it was not romantic at all. The sheets were rough, the elevator took you to the second floor and you had to climb up the rest and worst of all, it was boiling hot in our room. The thermostat was broken and the front desk receptionist was too busy Googling ways to kill time rather than help us. When I opened the window all I heard were the obnoxious hollers and laughs of drunken British and Australian tourists (bless their mountain town loving souls) but I am not going to lie, I secretly wished they choked on their laughs and died so I could get some peace and quiet.
On top of that, I found out my boyfriend snores ?. Imagine if I figured that out after we got married? Do you know what kind of surprise hell that would be?? So I just turned on some TLC and fell asleep to my 600 LB life. So yeah, it definitely was not romantic at all.
3. Being stuck in a small town with nothing to do for 5 hours isn’t boring if you’re with the right person.
The downtown of this small mountain town where our car was being fixed is only 3 blocks long and we were under the impression the town had a movie theater. It did not. The nearest one was in the town we just left. On top of that our phones were dying. Luckily we were able to buy a charger and we found a small café where we could charge our phones.
This is the point where I knew I could spend the rest of my life with this man. By chance this café had some board games, one of them being Snakes and Ladders – a throwback to our childhood. I want to point out that this game doesn’t finish as fast as I once remembered and my boyfriend is super competitive so he thought this game would be a piece of cake. Little did he know yours truly would win 6 out of the 8 games we played.
We managed to kill 4 hours playing Snakes and Ladders, sipping on mocha lattes and then eating fro-yo (in just two days I managed to eat a billion calories but to be fair we did get into an accident so the calories don’t count right??). Not once did I feel bored or annoyed with him. Instead, time flew by and he made me laugh. It honestly was the highlight of my trip – it even beat watching 3 back to back episodes of my 600 LB life so that really is saying something.
And not to brag or anything but did I mention I won 6 out of the 8 games we played! But I don’t want to rub it in his face, since I am a humble winner…
4. A lot of crappy things will happen in life and you can tackle it when you have the right person.
I am not trying to say you need someone in your life to handle life’s downs, but if you are in a relationship it is pretty important to know you can count on your significant other to keep you grounded when you feel like life is crumbling.
I held him down during and after the accident (by down I mean grounded – I didn’t physically hold him down). I called the park rangers, filed a report with the RCMP and found a shop to repair the car. Throughout all this I wanted him to know I could be his rock in even the crappiest of situations.
When we were getting ready for bed he held me down (again, not physically – mom) when I started to miss home (see, I do miss you!) and patiently stayed up as I talked on the phone for an hour with my mom and sister as if I was half a world away and not in the next town over.
5. Every single thing happens for a reason and you just have to roll with the punches.
Life is not always going to be full of ups as much as we would like that to happen. But I do believe everything in life – good or bad, happens for a reason.
The accident itself could have been worse than it was. If he was speeding or if we hit the concrete barrier or tree instead I do not think I would be here to tell this story. By the grace of God we were kept safe, and maybe this small accident was meant to prevent something bigger from happening.
My boyfriend and I always wanted a night in the mountains together and while it could have happened under better circumstances (and a better hotel) we managed to do something that seemed impossible. We never would have had the chance until we were married (and even then my mother would insist on coming with us and making it a family trip). I also found out sooner rather than later that my partner snores – this allows me to up the dowry amount as compensation for the inevitable years of snoring I will have to endure.
Finally, this whole ordeal showed me that being stuck in a small town was a huge blessing in disguise. It showed me that my boyfriend is the type of man I have always wanted. Throughout this entire situation he did not lose his cool, his focus was on me and my well-being, we had so much fun and even after everything he said to me, “You know baby I feel really bad we never got to get those photos for your blog post.” And honestly it doesn’t matter because I got a better story out of it.
So if I could give one piece of advice it would be to make sure that you and your partner are compatible when it comes to the tougher things in life. While I do not recommend smashing into a guardrail and spending a night hearing the drunken glee of tourists and spending over $500 to experience it all (unless that’s your thing then go for it), I do hope that what I have mentioned helps you see the same things in your partner as I see in mine.
And remember ladies it is super important to be the one who wins 6 out of 8 games in Snakes and Ladders, OK?