Hard Truth Tuesday is where readers submit questions or seek advice from our MissMuslim relationship blogger – Faiza Rammuny. To submit your questions – email Faiza at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I need help. So… how exactly do you get over a guy? Because I’m not doing it right.
Gosh… this is the one question I’m asked most frequently. Hopefully, I can settle this query once and for all. I would like to say that there is some secret formula, plan, or proper way to get over someone. But the hard truth is that getting your heart back after it’s been broken is often a difficult and lengthy process. For some it’s harder than others.
You’re going to go through a lot of emotions: Hopelessness, seemingly perpetual sadness, anger, resentment, hate, fear; but mostly loneliness. Identifying and accepting these feelings is the MOST important part of getting over a guy (or a girl) while finding yourself in the process. We oftentimes try to run away from what we’re feeling, but we need to stop going along with this robotic mentality and FEEL everything that’s happening. Feeling is the key ingredient to getting over a guy (or girl!) and reclaiming your heart, your mind, and ultimately, yourself. But remember, it may feel as if you gave this person everything and that you are now an empty vessel; the real truth is you have all the power, everything it takes, to pull yourself back together again. Your heart, your soul, they are still yours and still inside of your body and a break up will not rob you of those things.
You’re going to go through a lot of emotions
It’s normal to cry on your bedroom floor until you fall asleep in place. It’s normal to neglect your looks, alienate some people, and even be angry at yourself for not being okay yet. Recognizing that this is normal and allowing yourself to feel these temporary feelings is a sure way to work through all the different phases of the post break up period. It’s not easy and it’s not pretty but like it or not, it’s going to happen.
During this healing time, it helps if you find a hobby, a friend, a place; anything or anyone that makes you feel like things aren’t so bad. Find ways to mourn the loss of saying goodbye to someone you love, while finding ways to say hello to the amazing person that you alway have been. No matter what point you’re at in life, a break up can put you through a shit load of hurt, but it’s as a result of this hurt that you’re going to slowly but surely become acquire the traits of the strong, fabulous, queen that anyone would regret leaving.
And finally, to quote our good friend Rhianna, “Don’t let that bastards get you down.”