Hard Truth Tuesday is where readers submit questions or seek advice from our MissMuslim relationship blogger – Faiza Rammuny. To submit your questions – email Faiza at email@example.com.
I’m from Puerto Rico, and I reverted to Islam after reading about this religion for a book I was wiritng at the time. It’s been 2 years now and I face difficulties with my parents. Five months after my shahada, they discovered and since now, they try to do something to bring me down when it comes about this topic (mostly my mother, she is the one who talks more and imposes her Catholicism in me). I don’t care about the fact that I can’t fast because of my anemia (a problem in the blood cells), I don’t care if I can’t dress modestly because here in the Northeast of Brazil is way too hot and I don’t care if I can’t pray because of my tough routine. The only thing that has been bothering me since 2014 is that I know one day I have to open the game with my parents and face the consequences of their reactions. So please, tell me what the heck should I do?
Dear Nueva Muslim,
First, congratulations on finding the path and may Allah bring ease to your journey. This is a sticky situation you’ve got going on but it’s also quite ironic. I say that because Islam shares A LOT of similarities with Catholicism and Christianity as a whole.
The belief in one God is the biggest connecting ideal. While Islam doesn’t recognize the trinity, we do recognize Jesus (Isa) as an MVP player in the faith, but not necessarily a deity. We also recognize the importance and perfection of the Virgin Mary. Each religious practice has their own version of prayer beads that shouldn’t be worn as jewelry. We each have fasting seasons, Lent and Ramadan. So the chances to find unity are right in front of you.
You might want to bring all of this up when you talk to them because here’s the Hard Truth, you MUST talk to your parents about this. You’ve got to be the one to start an open dialogue with them about the new direction your life is taking no matter what the consequences might be.
When you have this conversation with them be sure to enforce the fact that you still respect their personal beliefs even though you don’t agree with them entirely. Remember the Quran teaches us to hold Christians (and Jews) as our brothers. Why? Because we are all worshipping the same God. From this point out, know that everything your parents know about Islam is going to come from YOU. To them you’re about to become the representative for the entire religion. No pressure.
You can’t control how your parents react. It might be positive, it might be negative. Based on what you’ve said it seems that you’re preparing for negative. That’s smart. But if you can, try to give your parents the benefit of the doubt. They love you. They love you so much that they care about your eternal soul and they believe that the only way to get you into heaven is to be Catholic. This is normal. So be patient with them. Our parents are both a blessing and a trial in this life. Give them time.
Lots and lots of time. Then some more time. And after that a little bit more time. Then when that’s done sprinkle a little more time over that time pie.
God willing it will all work out for the better.
Stay strong, stay faithful, and of course, stay FABULOUS!