If you would have told me three years ago – when I was studying screenwriting – that I’d be spending my time writing to strangers about my lady bits, I would have thought you were smoking something. And had you attended my college, you probably would have been.
But alas, life has a funny way of playing itself out.
Recently, I shared my experience with Softcup, a drugstore brand sanitary product that I was using to replace tampons. After fully enjoying Softcup and it’s ease I started thinking about the boss level of period protection: the Diva Cup.
The Diva Cup is a silicone cup that can be placed in the vaginal opening where it sits at the base of the cervix and contains menstrual blood for up to 10 hours. I wanted to take a photo of the one I bought but as I type this, it’s currently at the base of my cervix and I don’t think that shoving a camera up my hoo-ha is going to be the next experiment I try. So just Google it.
Anywho, what convinced me to take the plunge on Diva Cup is that it’s reusable, which saves not only money but the environment. I’m sick to death of having to pay high prices for sanitary products ON TOP of paying the co-pay for my birth control pills which actually regulate my period. It shouldn’t be this expensive to be a woman!
But I digress.
I ordered my Diva Cup from Target because Target is life. If anyone who works on the corporate level of Target is reading this, please know that I love your store and if you ever want a spokesperson or just a test dummy please call me because I go HAM for Target. But it’s also available on Amazon.
The cup came before my period, so I spent the week reading the instruction manual and staring at the cup. The silicone on the cup is a little on the thick side which caused concern since the whole thing has to be origami folded to insert. Luckily there are instructions on the two different folding methods.
The Week Begins
I assumed the seated position and attempted fold method number one. This method involved putting the cup into a U shape. That way was not working. I nearly hurt myself. I won’t get into how.
So I went with method number two. This method involves pressing one side of the cup down so that it’s triangular and then folding it in half. While I won’t say it worked immediately, it went a lot smoother. Now the thing about the Diva Cup is that it has a stem. I don’t know what the stem is for but it has the slightest point to it. If you don’t insert the cup properly, the stem WILL aggravate your vaginal opening. I don’t know this just because I read it. I know it because the damn thing was inserted wrong and the stem was poking me for about an hour.
The morning of day two was a nightmare. I had slept with my Diva Cup in place and when it was time to take it out – it would not budge. The instructions on removal are to “bear down” and squeeze the base of the cup. I could not even reach the base. All I could grab was the stem. Because I was panicking, my vagina panicked with me. My muscles contracted and were actually holding the cup in place while I was on the other end trying to pull it out. Worst game of tug of war ever.
…The whole thing has to be origami folded to insert.
About five different squat positions later I got the cup out. And let me tell you – it hurt. I had ignored the signs of incorrect insertion and when I removed it there was some weird suction activity that left me with a dull pain.
But I was too committed to this experiment to back down. Once the pain subsided, I refolded my cup and had ANOTHER difficult experience reinserting it. Clearly my lady bug was traumatized and was not in the mood to receive anything.
For the remainder of the day I felt absolutely nothing. The cup was inserted correctly and was doing its job. There was no leakage at all and aside from the occasional cramp, it was a good period day.
After day two, the rest of my week went smoothly. Guess I had to learn my lesson the hard way.
Care and Cleaning
If you’re interested at all in reusable sanitary products then you need to be super interested in cleaning instructions. I cleaned my Diva Cup after every use and dried it with a clean towel before reinserting. Diva Cup has its own Diva Wash which is not sold with the cup. I did not buy the wash because I have a bunch of natural fragrance free soaps from LUSH that I used to clean my cup.
The kind of soap you use matters. It matters. Soap can throw off the pH balance of your vagina and when your pH is off your discharge will be fucked up. I’m sorry to use that kind of language but that’s how serious I am. So unless you want to deal with cottage cheese discharge for a month, be mindful of the soap you use. If you don’t have natural soaps that are chemical and fragrance free then please buy the Diva Wash. I will give you the coupon I have for it, don’t gamble with your goodies.
So have I jumped on the Diva Cup bandwagon?
You’re damn right I have. Difficulties aside, Diva Cup is one of the most comfortable period protection methods I have tried thus far. I love that I won’t have to buy a new one next month. And it even came with a cute little carrying bag. This is certainly a product I’d recommend to anyone who is comfortable with the process.