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Dear Men – Our Bodies, Our Choices

Dear Men - Our Bodies, Our Choices -

Dear right-wing politicians/conservatives and Muslim men,

Men everywhere,

Please stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Not our husbands nor our boyfriends, fathers or sons, have the authority to control the choices we make involving our reproductive organs, our chests, curves or lack thereof, all the way down to our nails, makeup, and hair. In fact, please learn the term “autonomy” or freedom from external control or influence: independenceWomen deserve full autonomy over decisions that revolve around them. That is a natural born right that NO one should be able to take away from us. We do not live to please you and we may not choose to please God either — the decision is ours. I should not need to point this out. Women should not need to be reminding you of this, regularly.

Please stop telling women what to do with their bodies.

It is abhorrent that in 2017, a society that deems itself to be the leader of the free world is still so obsessed with what goes on in the private confines of a woman’s bedroom or her gynecologist’s office. I’m looking at you Paul Ryan [and cronies] and all of you conservative, judgmental, and blatantly hypocritical Muslim men. Let us get one thing clear: abortions are not handed out like candy. Women don’t get them as often as they change their hairstyles or accessories. In addition to it being a very difficult, very PERSONAL matter that should, at most, be between the parents (if Dad is in the picture) and their physician, there are restrictions already in place to ensure that a living, breathing child is not terminated and that the decision to have an abortion is well-thought out and legal. They get them because they are necessary for their health, their sanity (in the case of rape, for example), or for not taking part in bringing an unwanted, neglected, or improperly cared for child (when the mother literally cannot support another child, for example) into the world.

Second of all, repeat after me: Planned Parenthood does not use federal funding to provide women with abortions. So, when you are attempting to cut funding for Planned Parenthood or condoning it being shut down, you are telling women that they do not matter — that their health does not matter. You are telling them that they should not have access to birth control. You are asking low to middle-income women who cannot afford the pill or even condoms to risk getting pregnant and giving birth to a child who could end up in an overpopulated foster care system or worse. Will you be taking care of that child? Are you thinking of ways to adopt the many children in the system so that they are loved, nurtured, and successful in life? Or will you be removing more programs that would be necessary for that child and asking him/her to pick themselves up by their non-existent bootstraps like you so often do?

Women are free to wear what they want, love [and make love to] whomever they want, go out when they want, and be unapologetically whomever they want to be. Rather than attempting to dictate women’s sexual health or blame their clothes or promiscuity for their assault, we should be teaching society how to cherish, appreciate, and empower them. Rather than judging a woman for having sex, we should make sure she has the resources to be doing so safely. Rather than shunning a woman for having an abortion, we should make sure she is OK, mentally and physically, after having to make such a tough, personal decision the opposite of which could have negatively impacted her or that future baby’s life. What you believe is up to you and affects you — do not attempt to use your beliefs to control us.

I understand that perhaps your religion (or at least your interpretation of it) deems you protector against abortions and sexual freedoms. You are completely entitled to that belief and, in fact, if you’re an American man, it is guaranteed to you by the first amendment of our wonderful constitution. But that same amendment demands that you do not impose said religious beliefs on anyone. Lucky for you, you don’t have to have an abortion if you don’t want to. You can even choose to abstain from having sex. But you certainly have no say on women who do. They do not affect you.

Stop sexualizing, objectifying, and exerting your perceived manly power over us. Remember, you wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for a woman.

Love,

1 of 126 million.

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Dear Men - Our Bodies, Our Choices -

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